Posted by: brenbrennan | March 1, 2011

Don’t Give Your Heart to Just Anyone

Have you ever heard the saying, “Guard your heart”? If no one ever told you that, let me be the first. GUARD YOUR HEART!

20-Something Couple Who are Practicing Chastity

That means, don’t expect that dates, boyfriends will be honest with you, treat you nicely or have the best intentions for you.

I’m sad to say that many people don’t care that their actions hurt another person’s heart. They want what they want, when they want it. Most guys in their teens, twenties and perhaps thirties have the attitude of, “Hey, I just want to have a little fun. What’s wrong with that?”

Intercourse Has Become Too Casual

Rampant in American culture, is the notion that sex is no big deal, it is an ordinary part of dating, it is common, expected and casual, an entertaining way to spend one’s time. Wrong-o.

I am sounding the WARNING bell to young women! Before you plunge into dating, recognize you are a precious jewel who should be treated with the utmost respect, courtesy and gentleness. You are a princess in your Heavenly Father’s eyes and He doesn’t want anyone to hurt you, dear one.

Sexual intercourse is a special, sacred union to be saved and experienced only within the protective arms of matrimony. Do you REALLY want to risk your heart being broken because your boyfriend left you? Now you are pregnant and this baby will have no father to protect and provide for them? Is that really what you want for your baby, your future children? How about that scenario for your future? Is that the dream you have hoped for?

Plan Ahead
If not, then make plans NOW. Living in this crazy world in this time, you will have to be strong and not do what everyone else is doing, and go against the tide. You will be like a salmon swimming upstream. You will be made fun of. Others will tease you.

Be AWARE that boys and men will PRESSURE you and you will probably WANT to have sex with them. However, there is One who has all power. Ask God for the strength to overcome temptation. He gave it to me when I asked and He is a faithful God, so I am very confident that He will give you the inner fortitude to resist your physical reactions.

However, twenty years down the road, who will still be married to the same man, their husband of twenty years? Who will have incredibly deep satisfaction in their marriage and family? And who will be divorced, have children without a father, or with a second stepfather and four sets of grandparents? Who will have regrets about their life?

I admit it. I was extremely naïve and ignorant. I thought that if my boyfriend persuaded me into his bed, he would get hooked on me, see what a wonderful woman I was and eventually ask me to marry him.

Emotional Attachment
The fact is: men can have sex with a woman and it isn’t as emotional for them as it is for women. When women do it, it encompasses their whole entire being. They feel the connection down deep in their soul. Females are the more vulnerable gender in this equation. They get emotionally attached to men when having intercourse. Females have a lot to lose when they take a casual approach to sex before marriage. And they enter adolescence without this knowledge. It’s as though the girls are sheep and the guys are the wolves.

Unknowingly, they enter a world where men often don’t think about their well-being. Most girls, as young as seven years old, daydream about falling in love, wearing a beautiful dress on their wedding day with Mr. Right becoming their rescuer and hero.

Instead, many girls end up crying and broken-hearted, because yet again, another guy has used them up and thrown them to the curb like an unwanted dog.

Now, guys are not the only ones who bear responsibility for this unneeded carnage and devastation. If girls would stop being so promiscuous, then such turmoil would not be created in the first place! Most of the STD’s, unplanned pregnancies, children living in poverty without a father, would not be at such epidemic proportions.

Bonds Are Created
Sex has a bonding dimension to it, whether we like that or not. It naturally creates a very strong bond between a husband and wife. That bonding helps couples stay married. That bonding is why it is difficult to break up with someone, when you have had intercourse with them.

Say Susan and Mike have been dating for a year, they are in their twenties and have engaged in sexual activity for most of that year. Problems begin to occur, they discover that they each have very different goals in life and their families don’t think they are good for each other. He has a habit of gambling and she watches 20 videos a week. So they decide to break up, but when they’re apart, he just can’t feel good without her and she feels totally helpless without his decision-making abilities. Mike calls her and asks if they can get together to watch a movie at her place. The night ends with them in bed, even though they had no conscious intention of that happening. In the next few weeks, they continue to have sex but with no decision to get back together. The relationship seems empty, with no real caring, but Susan finds it very difficult to stop seeing him.

Date with A Better View on Life
It is so much better to date without having sex. It is easier to make wise judgments about the characteristics in the guy you are dating. That is because you can spend time talking, going places with your date, getting to know him, instead of being in bed with him. It becomes easier to break off the relationship, if that becomes necessary.

Powerful Benefits to Waiting

1. You will be able to give your whole self to your husband and not have memories of old boyfriends and bad decisions.
2. You will be able to tell your children that you waited and saved your heart for their daddy.
3. You won’t have to confess a long line of mistakes.
4. You won’t have to give reasons why you made such poor choices and why you and they are having to live with those negative consequences.
5. You won’t have to explain your faults to your 4-year-old and why they don’t have a daddy like all the other kids.
6. You won’t have to live through that painful conversation and see the disappointment in your child’s eyes.

Or you can ignore this advice and what millions of people have experienced and go off to have casual sex and have a miserable life.

It’s your choice. A good life or a bad life. Hmmm, which would you rather pick? A little pleasure now and a load of heartache lasting many years OR a little delayed gratification now and IMMEASURABLE joy for years to come.

There is a Formula That Works
The formula is simple: If you do this, you will get this. If you don’t do this, you will not get this. If you have sex outside of the protective covering of marriage, you will get heartache, STD’s or pregnancy.

If you don’t give your heart to just anyone, and you don’t offer your body to someone who doesn’t appreciate that you are worthy and valuable to many people, you will not get a life of destruction, sadness and regret.

Choose to be different. Choose to be better. Choose a better life for yourself and your family. Be someone they can look up to and go to for help. Become the person that you can be proud of…yourself!



  1. Wonderful article Gay! Keep up the good work – we need more of this!
    Best Wishes, Chris


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